Most of us have grown up in an era where there is a stigma on body image and consuming carbohydrates, fats, and calories. It’s led to the impression that sugar, and therefore treats/desserts are “bad” or something that needs to be earned (e.g. once you finish all your veggies, or if you’ve had a bad day). From a health perspective, this could lead to a damaging relationship with treats, and poor self-control when it comes to consuming them.

Now, we’re not perfect, but in our household, we try to treat desserts as any other food. Sometimes we even put them together with the main meal and let the kids decide the order in which they want to eat their food! And even if we don’t, we try not to bribe them with desserts to get them to finish their main meals. It’s something we learnt from Feeding Littles – we provide, they decide! So, we provide the food they eat, but they get to decide how much and what they want to eat from what has been provided.

We don’t have desserts with every meal or every day either. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong if you do, this is just what we’ve chosen to do in our household! The way we explain it to the kids is that just like any other food, sometimes we have it, sometimes we don’t! It’s sort of become a mantra in our house. Our oldest even knows to say that treats like ice cream are a “sometimes” food, and because this is what he’s used to, I don’t think he’s ever gotten upset or thrown a tantrum if we don’t have dessert! Don’t get me wrong – of course there are times when he will keep asking or he may try to change our minds if we say no to dessert, but we don’t get any meltdowns from a lack of dessert.

I also believe that our “inclusive” attitude towards food is teaching them to develop healthy relationships with food, and therefore treats/desserts. There have been times where our kids will say no to dessert themselves, or more impressive yet, they’ve stopped halfway through eating their dessert because they’ve had enough. My oldest has even said at parties that if he eats too much sugar, he will have a tummy ache or feel sick! And that’s just because (hard as it can be sometimes) we’ve tried to teach them to listen to their bodies when it comes to food instead of forcing them to do “what’s good for them”.

Of course, like with parenting in general, there is no “one size fits all” (we wish!). While this might be working for us now, I can’t guarantee that it will work for everyone, or that it will even keep working for all our kids as time goes by! I guess the main thing is the principles, and that we be consistent in what we do!

What do you think? Is this something that you do/would consider doing? How do you handle treats/desserts in your household?