I’m still trying to process most of this year so I’m struggling to accept that it’s already November! But the reality is that it is, and this means we’re heading into the silly season! The world we live in today is already so fast-paced and often high-pressure, but I feel this time of year just exacerbates it, and that’s why we see so many mental breakdowns throughout the season. And seeing as this Christmas will be the hardest one for my family, I have been very mindful about protecting my mental health so I thought I’d share some tips (or reminders, if you will) so you can protect your mental wellbeing too!

1. Set your boundaries

If I’m being honest, this holiday season is probably the one where a lot of boundaries get crossed, all in the name of “family & friends”. Yes, it is a time to celebrate and be with your loved ones, but especially for parents, it is also a stressful time because well-meaning people tend to have a lot of opinions on how you should live your life, how to celebrate the holidays, and how you should parent your kids (and sometimes all of these combined).

Rules get broken or ignored, whether you want them to or not, and sometimes you’re even made to feel guilty for trying to enforce them! The excuse is usually something along the lines of “Oh let it be, it’s just this once/a special occasion”.

I just want you to know that you DO NOT have to give up your boundaries for anyone else! YOU are in control of yourself, your life, your kids, etc. and boundaries are important and necessary to help you feel safe and secure. So be firm with those boundaries, and don’t let anyone push you into situations that make you feel uncomfortable or stressed, which brings me to my next point…

2. Don’t give into people-pleasing/peer pressure

Again, it’s the silly season, but it’s also the season of love, joy, and goodness. We go out of our way to help others and show them that we care – it is undoubtedly the most selfless and charitable time of the year! But remember….boundaries!

By all means, fill up your diary with events, do nice things for others, go all out with presents, Christmas meals, and all that jazz, but NOT as the expense of yourself! A friend of mine, who happens to be a counsellor, pointed out that most people usually think “I SHOULD” do something, but fail to realise that there are other options to consider:

1. Can I? 2. Could I? 3. Do I WANT to?

That was an eye-opener for me because no. 3 especially is changing my life, so I really want to impress on you today that you don’t have to do something simply because you feel you SHOULD. Don’t fall into the people-pleasing trap and give into peer pressure, worrying about what people want, think, or expect of you; it only brings you unnecessary worry and stress!

3. Be kind to yourself

And lastly, be kind to yourself! Yes, you hear this all the time in this season, but for good reason! Remember to look after yourself! Self-care is not selfish, and guarding your mental health is definitely not selfish! This time of year is difficult; it’s not called the silly season for no reason! So be kind to yourself, and remember that this season does not have to be perfect. It’s not about perfection, it’s not about expense and material things; it’s about love. So love yourself, take it easy, and at any time you feel like you need to take a break, just do it! And if people can’t understand, or if they want to judge you for it, then to heck with them!